You know you're a missionary kid if...

You watch nature documentaries, and you think about how good that would be if it were fried.

You frequently say, “I don’t know. I was out of the country.”

You think in grams, meters, and liters.

You embarrass yourself by asking what swear words mean.

You wince when people mispronounce foreign words.

If someone asks what school you went to, you reply, “depends on the year.”

You speak with authority on the quality of airline travel.

You are afraid to ask what you are eating, but munch away, with a smile on your face.

You watch a movie set in a foreign country, and you know what the nationals are REALLY saying into the camera.

National Geographic makes you homesick.

Tropical fruits aren’t imported.

You have strong opinions about how to cook bugs.

People simply don’t understand.

You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation.

You watch National Geographic specials and recognize someone.

Strangers say they can remember you when you were “this tall.”

You have friends from or in 29 different countries.

You do your devotions in another language.

You sort your friends by continent.

You keep dreaming of a green Christmas.

You tell people where you’re from, and their eyes get big.

“Where are you from?” has more than one reasonable answer.

You are grateful for the speed and efficiency of the U.S. Postal Service.

You’ve spoken in dozens of churches, but aren’t a pastor.

You stockpile mangos.

You know what REAL coffee tastes like.

The majority of your friends don’t speak English as a first language.

Someone brings up the name of a team, and you get the sport wrong.

You believe vehemently that football is played with a round, spotted ball.

You realize what a small world it is, after all.

You never take anything for granted.

You know how to pack.

All preaching sounds better under a corrugated tin roof.

You know raw fish tastes better than cooked.

When guests come to your house and bring a fish as a gift.

Going to the post office is the highlight of your day.

When you sing songs to yourself in a language other than English.

When wearing shoes in the house sounds disgusting.

You carry Bibles in two languages.

You watch an English language video and read the foreign language subtitles.

When you dream in a foreign language.

On your 18th birthday you still don’t have a driver’s license.

You send out birthday invitations in a foreign language.

When you carry a dictionary everywhere you go.

Your Dad scolds you in a foreign language.

When you don’t know how to count American money.

When adults want to pay you to teach them English.

When you would rather sleep on the floor than on the bed.

When all your clothes have been worn by someone else.

When you find a seven-year-old picture of yourself on someone’s refrigerator.

When you have carried the same dollar bill in your wallet for four years.

When you write in your diary in a foreign language.

When driving on the right side of the road gives you the willies.

When eating with chop sticks seems natural.

When eating spaghetti with chopsticks is easier than using a fork and spoon.

When you have explained the difference between “The cow is on the field” and “The cow is in the field.”

When you take a shower before taking a bath.

When you call senior missionaries grandma and grandpa (Aunty/Uncle).

When the message on your answering machine is in two languages.

When earthquakes seem normal.

When your Mom sends you out to sweep the street in front of your house.

You speak to different ethnic groups in their own languages.

When you pull into a gas stand and expect people to come running out screaming welcome!

You consider parasites, dysentery, or tropical diseases to be appropriate dinner conversation.

You tell people what certain gestures mean in different parts of the world.

You have stopped in the middle of an argument to find the translation of a word you just used.

You watch nature documentaries, and you think about how good that would be if it were fried.
You live at school, work in the tropics, and go home for vacation.

Finding a beak in your chicken soup doesn't shock you.

You've been lost in a large, foreign airport and knew what to do.

You can actually pronounce Welsh town names.

You know that skirts and robes are not exclusively women's clothes in other parts of the world.

Your favorite pet was a monkey and you've never owned a cat or dog.

Apples and pears have no flavor compared to the fruit you're used to eating.

You've eaten more "foreign" food than "American," even though your passport says you're American.

You know food tastes better fried in ghee or coconut oil.

You've eaten "cole slaw" made with green mangoes.

You automatically check for bed bugs when staying in someone else's home.

You set your watch by when the sun rises.

You live in a place where the temperature seldom gets DOWN to 70 degrees EVER, and someone sends your family a box of quilts.

Beef seems tasteless to you.

You insist on putting all eggs in water to see if they lay down (fresh), stand up (for baking only), or float (DO NOT break the shell).

You know how to dig a vehicle out of mud in the shortest possible amount of time; a skill you attained by much practice.

You cough (clap) outside peoples' front doors instead of knocking, to let them know you are there.

You equate yawning with being hungry rather than with being sleepy.

When you find a bug in you food, you calmly pick it out and finish eating.

You can sleep peacefully with a million jungle noises that would scare the liver out of your friends "back home", but sleeping near a railway or busy street drives you crazy.

You know that a ferry is not a mythical character in a story.

You know what it REALLY means to be seasick and motion sick.

You know more about a blow gun than a BB gun.

You know that apple sauce tastes better with some mango pulp mixed into it.

While on furlough, someone feeds you a "special" fish dinner and you eat it to be polite and don't mention that you eat fish almost ever day where you live, and it tastes better too.

You marvel at how clean and well cared for the sidewalks are in the U.S.

While on furlough your cousin shows you his pet frog and you get hungry.

You know that bread fruit is not found in a bakery.

The Oklahoma City bombing seemed normal to you.

You get a kink in your neck from riding through Manhattan.

You know the streets of Amsterdam, London, and Calcutta better than your "home" town of Omaha.

You have to be told on furlough to use the public restroom instead going behind a bush.

You know that an open air market is more fun than Wal-Mart,"the mall" or any "super" shopping center.

You have a medium sized coffee can in your bedroom for catching or squashing spiders.

You shake your shoes out before putting them on.

You went to the check out in the supermarket, on furlough, and said "put it on our bill please."

You can fit all your "important" possessions in two boxes and only have one totebag full of "extra" stuff.

You can cram 25 pounds of over-weight stuff into your pockets or purse in an airport line.

Your suitcase has eighteen airline stickers, including Air Aden, on it.

On furlough some older folks compliment you because you can speak English so well.

You know that wild meat actually tastes better than store bought.

People in America tell you their horror stories about bugs, rats and mice and you think, "What's so amazing about that?" Or, "All they need is to be dipped in egg and corn meal and fired."

You tell your school teacher, while on furlough, that you are from Bangladesh, and she asks if that is in Australia.

You've ridden the train to school so many times that you know all the station masters.

Your natural instinct when it's rainy and muddy out is to take your shoes and socks off and go bare foot.

You understand that furlough is not a vacation. You look forward to going "back to the field" for a rest.

You have three kinds of currency in your pocket all the time.

When you see a golf course you start looking for impala and lions.

You know more about Bangladesh than the US ambassador to Bangladesh does.

Your first "doll" was made from a mango seed.

You go to school in a Cessna rather than a school bus.

You are in the Frankfurt Airport, and you hear some Black people nearby cursing the Germans in Housa. You walk up and greet them in Housa, and they pass out in terror.

You celebrate New Years in September or February.

Your natural instinct is to look out for snakes no matter how "safe" the environment.

You have to translate medical papers for your doctor to understand.

Mom sends you out to "weed" the orchids out of the tree in the front yard.

The "rare" fruits and vegetables in USA supermarkets are everyday food to you and the "common" things are what you really stare at.